Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Black and White Review (Finally)

So I was finally able to play Pokemon Black last weekend, and I must say it was really great aside from it being the 359259th version of Pokemon ;(


Like all core Pokémon games, Pokémon Black focuses on a kid's journey to become the greatest Pokemon master in the world. Along the way, you'll be battling trainers, solving world's issues, and other things like the other million Pokemon games you played. The Unova region contains 156 new pokémon; until the postgame, they're the only pokémon available. Moreover, not all of them are available on the Black version of the cart. Catching them all requires trading with friends or logging into the upgraded Wi-Fi mode. Although many of the new monsters feel like reskins of series mainstays like Pidgey and Geodude, there are enough winners in the batch that selecting a core team of six is difficult. Previously unexplored type combinations such as Dark/Fighting and Ghost/Fire make their appearance, resulting in new battle strategies. The effect of these new pokémon on the multiplayer community is currently unknown, but they keep single-player battles from becoming too stale. Rotation and triple battles add further spice to the mix, although they don't occur often enough to seriously impact the main play through. One-on-one battles remain the common currency.
   Knowledge of each pokémon's strengths is essential. Deciding to bring Fire pokémon into a cave filled with Ice pokémon is simple enough: fire melts ice. However, the canny trainer also knows that Ice pokémon tend to have Water attacks, which are strong against Fire pokémon. What's the best way to handle a Grass/Steel pokémon? Moreover, battles are difficult to steamroll by power leveling. Experience points are awarded on a sliding scale that sharply drops once the battling pokémon is higher level than its opponents. The bump in challenge is a welcome change; it's never too annoying, as many routes have friendly doctors waiting at the midpoints to fix up any severely battered monsters.
   Speaking of beaten monsters, the story is one of the greatest disappointments. Like always, every Pokemon series has an identical story. But if your a Pokemon fanatic, this is a world where the feelings of pokémon are all that people talk about, every bookshelf is loaded down with pokémon merchandise, and every child's ritualized journey to adulthood consists of a cross-country journey of friendship. While the story heats up and gets "intense" near the end, it always ends in the way you think it would. The NPC talking is hefty, and feels like I'm being taught about the most basic things. The hefty postgame revisits many of the plot elements, like other games.
Unfortunately, I'd say Pokemon Black was as I expected it to be: running around, beating people, and catching Pokemon. If I had time on my hands, I'd game the hell out of this one. But for now, it'll be collecting dust.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Movie Mondaiz: Suckerpunch

This will be a regular routine: Movie reviews every week or whenever I have time to watch a decent movie.


This film could not be more appropriately titled. I was a "suckered" into paying for this movie, and I felt like "punching" the creators of this horrid movie.

To begin, the acting was horrible. The cut-scenes and eccentric beginning is unexplained and is confusing until you watch the last 5 minutes of the movie, which will leave you saying OH I GET IT NOW.

The movie starts with the main character (Baby Doll), acted horribly, being sent off to this twisted mental institution after shooting her sister. The bullet was meant for her step-father, but surprisingly the bullet somehow made its way off of a light and into the sister's chest. There, she meets a group of equally terrible actresses and begins her flights of fantasy. Throughout the whole movie, she maintains the plain and dull look of stupidity.



The constant visions of her obtaining the 4 items to escape are ridiculous and do not even match the movie. If the cut-scenes were removed, I believe this movie would have a lot more value to it.

Just take my advice here; unless you're a confused young women with anger and appearance issues, or a horny 14-year old boy and want to see some clevage and chicks with guns, avoid this movie at all cost. Invest in a lotto ticket, because you have a higher chance of winning than enjoying this movie.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

How Pathetic.

If you all know me, you will understand that I despise all types of extreme pop culture: things pushed through the media and fed to gullible teens who couldn't tell the difference between good and bad. And to top it off, it is endorsed by school officials and tolerable. This obscenity today happened as the last day before Spring Break arrived: a field day. Nothing like standing in the hot, sweaty bleachers in Florida weather, surrounded by hundreds of kids who rather be skipping school instead. As I sat down, a guy comes out dressed in the most unprofessional and downright "ghetto" clothes and yells a regurgitated version of AYE YO OAK RIDGE WHUTS GOIN ONNNNN. DIS YA BOY. WE GIVIN OUT FREE MONEYYY. LEGO (I'm assuming this is extremely short for "Let's Go"). I instantly knew this was going to be another serving of "stereotypical ghetto" to our school, just like half of the bullshit at our school is. It isn't called the "Student Lounge" or "Student Services", it's called "Lil' Willie's Warehouse". Half of the deans talk like they got hired off of a GED and straight from the hood. The uneducated and poor appearance is thus passed down onto half of the idiotic population at our school. This only results in the principal fingering his asshole and asking why our school is so pathetic and will continue to fail.

This isn't a rant or me telling story: this is a message. Stop endorsing this stupidity and teach. It's simple and doesn't require much of a brain (which fits your persona anyway). You try so hard to appeal to the population, yet you forget what a school really is. This performance was so pathetic, I left 10 minutes in and went back to my classroom. I couldn't stand to watch another attempt to promote the demoralization of our school. It's sad to see this happen, and especially watch the teachers promote this nonsense. Our school is pathetic, and will continue to stay that way forever. It'll be a shame to answer to people asking what school I graduated from, because I would never rep that godforsaken school of mine.